Priceless Truth
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
'Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!'
Totally ta ken aback with such a cordial note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says,
"Well dad, you came home around 3AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door".
Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes and shoes off, you said,
'LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!'"
Moral:
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Bro ken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk - 'PRICELESS'
There are truly some things that both money and MasterCard can't buy.
Labels: joke
posted by T at 12:34 AM | 0 comments read on
Time Waster
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, "Who's on First?" may have sounded something like this:Costello calls a computer store to ask about a computer. Abbot answers the phone.
Abbott: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
Costello: Yes. I'm setting up an office at home and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: No, my name's Lou.
Abbott: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.
Abbott: OK then, what about Windows?
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in there?
Abbott: No. But do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
Abbott: Wallpaper at first.
Costello: Never mind the windows! I need a computer and some software.
Abbott: Software for Windows?
Costello: No! On the computer! I need something I can use to run my business, write proposals and track expenses. What do you have?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office. I told you that. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Abbott: Recommended something.
Costello: You recommended something?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: For my office?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: OK. What did you recommend for my office?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office!
Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.
Costello: My office already has windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to write a proposal. What would I need?
Abbott: Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott: Word in Office.
Costello: The only word in office is office.
Abbott: You need the Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: Which word in office for windows?
Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
Costello: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't give me some straight answers. What about bookkeeping? Do you have anything I can use to track my money?
Abbott: Sure, Money.
Costello: That's right. What do you have?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbott: Yes, and It comes bundled with your computer.
Costello: What comes bundled with my computer?
Abbott: Money.
Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much do I get?
Abbott: One copy.
Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
Abbott: We got a license from Microsoft to copy Money.
Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?
Abbott: Why not? They own it!
(A few days later)
Abbott: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
Costello: How do I turn my computer off?
Abbott: Click "START"
Labels: joke
posted by T at 12:33 AM | 0 comments read on
Cern : Live Cams
http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.htmlLabels: cern
posted by T at 12:32 AM | 0 comments read on
